Episode 126 -Curiosity Killed the Cat

This week I've been looking after a friend's cat while she's been away. It's amazing how much you can learn just by spending a week with a kitten Not to mention how many challenges I had to overcome each day, possibly the greatest of all being tying my shoelaces in the morning! Of course I learnt a few tricks and developed some new skills to help me on my way, the most commonly used being the art of distraction. For whilst kittens are tenacious and abounding in energy, and despite being able to chase the same piece of string for hours on end, they have very little focus. In fact, with the slightest noise or movement, they will completely forget what it was that they were doing. Struggling to leave the house without them sneaking out too? Simple, just pick up their favorite toy, hurl it into the adjacent room as though it was a hand grenade and then sneak away like a ninja in the night whilst your cat is distracted.

As I watch this kitten chase it's tail whilst precariously balanced atop a scratching post I can't help wondering if I need to be more kitten or less kitten. I wonder if my own tendencies to get distracted by the slightest thing are preventing me from achieving the things I want to our are taking my time away from the people I care most about. And yet by equal measure I can't help admire something about her enthusiasm about everything. Perhaps I've lost something. Even the most plane and boring things seem full of joy to a kitten. Perhaps the mundane things in my life are only so because I fail to see the joy that are hidden within them?

Episode 125 - Remembering the Forgotten

This week I ate a banoffee scone for the first time. As I bit into it and its sweet flavours rolled around my pallet, I was shocked to remember, that this wasn’t actually the first time I’d tasted a banoffee scone at all. I, by my own admittance, have a terrible memory. I can forget (and probably have but it’s hard to be sure) entire conversations and events, name and faces, and PIN numbers with ease. The funny thing is that the strangest of things can bring back memories and knowledge that I didn’t even know I had; 90’s pop songs, bad jokes, and even bad smells can bring back forgotten holidays, forgotten feelings, and even forgotten maths equations.

I think maybe humans inherently have bad memories, at least for certain things. Especially in our age of “too long; didn’t read” character limited twitter feeds and wordless Instagram posts. Not that I’m complaining about those at all, I love a good catchy quote and a word does say a thousand words anyway right? And there’s nothing wrong with living in the moment, in fact it’s a very good thing to do. But being in the moment doesn’t have to come at the cost of not remembering what has come before or the things that have helped shape us along the way. I think maybe when we lose sight of those things, we start to lose parts of who we are too. In the bible God talks a lot about doing things to help remember all that He’s done for His people (usually throwing a party), I think because God knows how prone we are to forget and because He knows how damaging forgetting these things can be for us. I may have a bad memory, but it doesn’t mean I have to forget the things that are important, I just have to decide what things I never want to forget and think of good ways to help me remember them, who doesn’t like a good party anyway!?

Episode 124 - Wanting the best

I’m the kind of guy who always strives to have the best life can offer and to be the best he can be. Now this may surprise you a little, as I’m also the kind of guy who drives an old Toyota and wears scruffy jeans, and is quite happy about it too. I guess this is because what I consider to be the best isn’t always what everyone else might think of! I don’t worry too much about cars, or clothes, or well-paid highly esteemed jobs. I care more about quality relationships and developing better character. And I don’t think that this is a bad thing. The funny thing is though, that whatever you strive for; good, bad or indifferent, there’s always a temptation to continually want more and want better. This in itself once again is not necessarily a bad thing, but wanting more should never get in the way of you enjoying and making the most of what you have. Today God spoke to me not through an hour long sermon, but through a simple one sentence quote by A. W. Tozer; “when a man has met God he is not looking for anything because he has found it”. When I stumbled across that this morning, I realised that whilst it is good to try to be better and to do better, I will never have anything better than what I already have in God. I really should live like it too.

Episode 123 - Digging Holes Just To Fill Them In Again

For the last couple of weeks I have been helping to make foundations for an extension to a building. We use the analogy of building foundations a lot in our everyday life, whether it be about relationships, or business projects, or anything else. But having now helped to create actual foundations, I think from now on it will have a deeper meaning. The most striking observation that I have made of the process so far is the seeming absurdity of the whole thing; you work really hard to dig out a big hole, then you work really hard to fill it back in again. And at the end of it all, nothing much seems to have changed other than all your clothes are now redecorated in cement.

There are two things to note from this. Firstly, building foundations is hard work! Like really hard work! The second is that whilst it appears like no progress has been made, it’s just that; appearance. The work which has been done is hidden, but it is no less valuable or effective for it. It can be quite disheartening to put in all that effort and see very little change and yet in reality what has been achieved is the most important work and determines the effectiveness of everything that will follow. Unless you clear out all of the rubbish underneath well and dig deep enough, and then fill it properly with good quality cement, all that is built upon it will suffer and most likely ultimately fail. How often in life do we feel like we’re just going around in circles and making no progress at all? I wonder how often in those situations maybe we have made great progress, just our work has been hidden. I also fearfully wonder how often I caused future trouble for myself by not working diligently enough at things that I could not instantly see the fruit of.

Episode 122 - Keeping Your Feet on the Ground

This week I joined a Frisbee club. I have to admit I was a little nervous having never been part of a Frisbee club, but thankfully no-one took it too seriously and it was a lot of fun. It was a warm sunny day and the ground was dry. The funny thing about grass though, is that even when it’s dry, it’s slippery. On TV it’s the banana skin that’s king of the unexpected slippery substance list, in real life though, grass has to be up there somewhere. Every time I tried to turn quickly or come to a sudden stop, my feet would slide out from underneath me and I would end up in a heap on the ground. The famous expression which extolled the need to keep one’s feet on the ground came to mind. But what does it really mean?

We tend to immediately think it calls for the need to sacrifice excitement, or creativity, or adventure, to make place for caution and sensibility and seriousness. Our culture often tells us that we are either one or the other, that the two cannot coincide. Indeed, I did sacrifice in order to keep my feet on the ground. I moved less, and when I did I moved less suddenly. I did in fact keep my feet on the ground, but at what cost? I became unable to create much space and had to settle for less incisive passing, in short, I became a worse player, but one which was at least stood upright. But if we keep our feet on the ground by not moving at all have we really gained anything at all? 

Well in the end I decided no, I just gave into falling over sometimes. And after the game what really should have been obvious was expressed by one of the other players; what I really needed was a pair of studded boots. Perhaps that’s what we all need life; something to help us adhere our creativity to caution and our seriousness to our adventure. Perhaps even, what our world needs are people who are willing to be those studded boots and hold the two worlds together.

Episode 121 - Lost Bees

As I walked down the street the other day, I realised that I had picked up a passenger along the way. No, someone hadn’t stealthily jumped on my and taken a piggy back ride without me noticing, my passenger was not a person, but a bee. I looked down and right in the middle of my jumper was a little white tailed bumble bee. He remained there seemingly contented for the duration of my fifteen minute walk. And as I walked I watched him as he walked around a little a repeatedly pawed at my jumper with his little hands (or whatever it is that a bee has at the end of its arms/legs…). Now not being an entomologist I don’t really have a clue what he was doing, but to me it looked for all the world like he was trying to gather nectar from my jumper. 

Which if he really was, was crazy because not only was it not a flower, it in no way resembled a flower, it wasn’t brightly coloured and didn’t really smell particularly nice either (not that I’m saying my clothes smell bad…). But the craziest thing of all is that after fifteen minutes of trying and presumable failing, he was still unable to see his mistake! As I watched him persist in his mistake I gained sympathy for my new little friend. I realised how easy it is to get trapped by your mistakes. How sometimes it can be very hard to see that what is going wrong is not some small detail, but rather the very thing you were so convicted about in the beginning. I pray to God that I may have the humility to see the places where I have mistaken woolly jumpers for flowers so that I might not waste my time trying to harvest where there is no nectar!

Episode 120 - Special

I am probably by most definitions, not normal. I look different to most people, think different to many people and behave pretty different sometimes too. I am unique. You’re unique too. I find that amazing; 8 billion people and no two of us are the same. Each one has their own identity, and each of us has a unique set of gifts, talents and character to bless the world with. Of course some of us are more different than others. I have always felt like one of the more different ones, not that this ever bothered me. I’ve never cared too much about what other people thought about me and I imagine that for the most part who I am is met by bewilderment. I think on the most part my differentness is inoffensive, even likeable, although there are always some who are opposed to it, but I figure that’s their prerogative and I don’t let it bother me.

Recently I was criticised for something which I thought was quite unfair and couldn’t really understand where it had come from. The funny thing is, it wasn’t that I felt I had been falsely accused because what they said about me was true. I felt it was unfair because I couldn’t for the life of me understand why this aspect of my character would be a bad thing! But that was because I was different and so I see the world differently. But whilst this wouldn’t normally bother me, it got me thinking, could it be that my differentness which God gave to me to bless those around me was actually getting in the way of me blessing those God intended me to? I don’t actually have an answer, and don’t worry, I’m not going to start being any less me, but has made me think more about understanding other people’s differentness and how we might be able to complement each other better.

Episode 119 - Happy Easter!

It's Easter Monday! Which is very exciting, because it means we get a day off work! But more than that, as a Christian, Easter is a time that I remember all that Jesus has done for me (not that I don't remember it ever day). Even if you're not a Christian, I imagine that it's a time that in between the chocolate eggs and the hot cross buns you're inclined to wonder even if just for a second, how people can really believe all that crazy stuff about Jesus. Well whatever you make of Easter, today I want to share a couple of Easter articles from the Guardian which I hope you will enjoy whether you consider Him your Lord and saviour or as real as the Easter bunny. Here they are;

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/apr/14/what-is-the-historical-evidence-that-jesus-christ-lived-and-died

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2009/aug/03/christianity-resurrection-religion

If the links don't work for you, you can copy them directly into your address bar at the top of the screen. Don't worry they're safe I promise!

Epside 118 - When There Are No More Signs

Yesterday I went for a walk somewhere I'd never been before. It was a well marked path. Or at least it was to begin with. As I started the walk there was a big footpath sign that pointed across the field ahead, to a stile. When I got to the stile there was a little yellow arrow pointing across the field to another stile with another little yellow arrow pointing across the next field to yet another stile with another little yellow arrow. And so it continued. Or at least so it continued until it didn't. Eventually I came to a field so big and so hilly that I couldn't see the other side, and didn't know where there the stile was. So the only choice I had was to trust that the sign was pointing in the right direction and keep on going until I could see the next one. And lo and behold, there it was, eventually, and my uncertainty had been proven to be for no good reason. And all was good again. For a while. But then later I got to a stile that had no sign on it! How was I supposed to know which way to go? How I was I supposed to know that I was even on the right path at all? 

Much like the piece of wood in the corner of the field that doesn't belong to me... 

...it's not my stile

Well I didn't. But going backwards wasn't going to help me at, so I had to just keep going. Going wherever looked most like it was the way I was supposed to go, looking for signs and stiles or anything else which might indicate the way forward. In the end I made it. There were a few sign to reassure me, but often I was on my own just trusting what had come before me to direct me towards what was ahead. Sometimes life is easy, with clear directions and a straight forward path. Other times it's not. It can be hard and confusing. Vague and unclear. In those times we just have to trust the direction we have been given and trust ourselves to follow the path the best we can.

Episode 117 - When You Have Nothing to Say

This week as I sit here to write this blog, as with many weeks, I find myself with nothing to say. Usually after starring at the screen for a little while inspiration hits me and I find something (hopefully worthwhile) to say. But not this week. This week I have nothing. I can't help thinking that God is teaching me a simple lesson which I find easy to ignore. Sometimes in life you really want to say something, you even feel like you really should, but you just don't have any words. In those times it's easy just to say anything, the first things that come to mind, but these are usually wasted words devoid of any value. Perhaps what I need to learn to do is just to say nothing and just be there. So this is me just being here. Saying nothing.

Episode 116 - Hard Habit to Make

I must apologise dear reader for it being so long since I last wrote a blog entry. It was my habit to write my blog every Sunday after Church ready to be automatically published in the late hours of Sunday night and read on Monday morning. But as time continued and life became busy, this became less a habit, and more something that I had to remember to do. And alas something I must confess that I haven’t remembered to do to in recent weeks and I am very sorry for that. But this made me ask myself a very important question; why is it that it seems that good habits are so hard to keep when bad habits seem so easy to form? And why is it so difficult to create good habits when bad habits seem so difficult to break? 

I thought about this for a long time. Probably when I should have just been writing my blog instead. It’s hard to fathom because it seems so contradictory, it seems simply to boil down to saying that good things are hard to do and bad things are easy to do. Is it really that simple? When it comes down to it, am I just naturally not a good person? Well perhaps that’s something that’s not entirely untrue but as I looked deeper I realised that actually it had much more to do with who I want to be than who I am. When I stopped to look at the focus of what I considered to be a habit, I realised that good habits and bad habits weren’t evenly matched. 

When I think of my bad habits, I think of things I naturally do, patterns of repeated behaviour that I’m inclined to follow, but that in retrospect I wish I didn’t or would like to change. But I don’t consider the good things that I naturally or easily do to be good habits, I just consider them to be normal, to be part of who I am. On the contrary, I consider good habits only to be things which I don’t naturally do, but things which I wish I did and that I want to do, and therefore try hard to make part of who I am, despite it being against my natural tendencies. And so it would seem that perhaps I am being too hard on myself. In fact it has nothing to do with being good or bad, but the simple truth that change is hard. And therefore making myself a better version of myself; a me that I’d rather be, is also hard. But then when was anything really worthwhile every easy?

Episode 115 - Are You Receiving Me?

This week I had the privilege of making my first live radio appearance. Or at least my hands did. My friend Ade was making an appearance on Flame community radio to talk about his new single (which can be heard here) and to play a couple of songs live, so he invited me along to accompany him on a Cajon. It was quite a strange experience, playing without being able to see your audience. Not being able to gauge how they are responding to it or even if anyone is listening to it all. It seems strange to communicate something in a way that leaves you without any way of knowing how it’s been received.

As I thought about this I came to thinking that in a funny sort of way all of our live are like a radio broadcast. Over a life time, our whole life, even our smallest acts are seen and experienced by thousands of people. At any moment there’s no saying who might be watching or how they might be affected by us; the people we pass in the street or the person who serves us at the supermarket. Much like a radio programme, we have the power to touch many people’s lives and often we might never have an idea that we have done so.

Episode 114 - Calling the Changes

Life is full of new experiences. Things that we never imagined we’d do yet somehow find ourselves doing. A couple of weekends ago I found myself doing something for the very first time; calling a Ceilidh – that is to say shouting out the instructions to a bunch of dances whilst the music plays. Whilst I’ve been to many Ceilidhs before I have no idea how to lead one, I don’t even know how the dances go, after all, that’s what the caller is for! However, the incredible thing about being the caller of Ceilidh is that it never occurs to the dancers to question what the caller is saying even when he has no idea what he’s doing! It was amazing! Whatever I said they would do! I could have said anything! Even things that didn’t make sense – and I did with surprising regularity, and yet they still tried to follow as I lead.

I should at this point say that despite the description I’m about to give which probably sounds more like a scene from a post-apocalyptic thriller than a party, we did all have a tremendous amount of fun, myself included. I’m not going to lie, there was a tremendous sense of power and authority standing behind that microphone and watching as everyone did as I told them. In some ways I felt like a God. And yet despite my subjects wholehearted attempts to do as I pleased (or perhaps because of this), the dances still upon occasion descended into anarchy and chaos as the dancers got themselves into all sorts of messes. I knew what I wanted them to do and yet so often they weren’t doing it! I must confess that this was usually because of my inability to communicate the dances clearly, however it wasn’t always my fault!

As I stood there barking out orders I began to realise that there were many things that caused my dear friends to stray from the instructions I was giving out. There were all of the distractions of everyone around them. There was the noise which made it difficult to hear. There were the obstacles on the dance floor; stray shoes and fallen bodies. There were other dancers who were getting it wrong and trying to encourage others to follow them. There were hecklers and there was the frustration of “just not getting it”. “If only they could keep hold of what I was saying”, I thought. Then I wondered if that’s how God feels about me as I dance my way through life.