Episode 149 - Not By Sight

 This weekend I am staying at my parents caravan trying to fix one of the caravans legs which hold it steady. To do this I first needed to remove the leg, and to do that I needed to undo the nuts which held it onto two fixed bolts. Unfortunately the nuts had become rusted in place and when I came to undo these nuts, the fixed bolts became, well, unfixed. To further complicate things, the head of the bolts were completely inaccessible. I had to use every trick I could think of to hold the bolts in place and loosen the nuts and yet they wouldn't budge. So I did it all again and still they wouldn't budge. And so I tried again and again and again. And still nothing. There was no sign of anything changing, no reason to think it would and no reason to continue. But for some reason (probably my stubbornness) I continued.

Then out of the blue some time later,the nut began to move on the bolt. Not a lot, in fact only a very little, but still it moved. And suddenly there was a reason to keep trying and continuing no longer seemed like a hopeless endeavour. It became much easier to keep going because I could see the progress being made. It's funny because most of the progress was made before this point, where rewards of my labour were unseen, but it's only ever the achievement we see (or think we see) that spurs us on rather than what we have actually accomplished. I wonder how much I've given up on thinking I wasn't able to succeed because I couldn't see the progress I was making. I also am starting to realise how easy it is to be dissuaded from things I've felt sure God has called me to do because it doesn't seem like I'm able to make any progress. I can understand why Paul (of New testament fame) said that Christians live by faith not by sight.

Of course there is another sting in the tale (misspelling intended). It's now Sunday as I write this and I still haven't got the caravan leg off because after the nuts came looser, they then began to bind again. I suspect because of a combination of dirt and damage caused to the bolt from measures taken by me to hold it in place. I'm not sure what I'll do next. A complete change of tac may be necessary.I also don't know what this adds to my thoughts although I'm sure there's something. But I do find myself wondering if actually the outcome or the perceived progress should matter to me when I feel God has called me towards something. Surely the fact that He asked should be enough.