I can't do this anymore, I'm done
Whatever it is that's fighting me
I'm ready to say it's finished, you've won
My mind cannot think, it can't add two plus two
It can no longer tell what's false and what's true
My body keeps finding new ways to rebel
What it will be today, there is no way to tell
My spirit inside isn't willing to give in
but it no longer believes there's any way it can win
I'm not looking for sympathy and I don't mean to pout
I'm just desperately looking to find the way out
It's not that I no longer want to follow this plan
It's just that I really no longer think that I can
I'm exhausted and empty, I'm used up and I'm spent
I'm battered and broken, I'm bashed up and I'm bent
I feel like a song and the tune is still me
but the words don't fit the rhythm and I'm singing out of key
I've never been perfect, of that I am sure
But I've never been in this kind of place before
For all of my failings up to now
I've always had enough understanding to know how
To improve myself
Enthuse myself
And loose Myself
of the wrong and the old
Go to the Gym
Or put on a grin
Lift up my chin
And let the new unfold
But this isn't a problem with a solution I can bring
Nor a fight I can win and I'm flat on the floor of the ring
I have no way to start a new revolution
To bring this back to order and find a resolution
This can't be fixed with a new health regime
with working harder, or another release of dopamine
Because it's not about me, or my characters attire
I just happen to be here and got caught in the crossfire
Of happenstance and cosmic circumstance
Just bad luck and a matter of chance
There's no-one to blame, not even cause and effect
Just one of those things you couldn't expect
I'm not a special case deserving special attention
It's not like this is some new invention
Bad luck and circumstance happen all the time
And many are those who are victims of their crime
I am by no means surprised that such things can be
And I have no objection that it should happen to me
But the problem remains, though as deserving as any
I can't take any more, I need it to stop already
I'm waving the white flag, hoping the whistle will blow
I'm hoping that now some mercy it'll show
I've become a person that I know I am not
The person I know I am, seems completely forgot
Perhaps this is the real me inside
having striped away the things that I use to hide
But to tell the truth I don't like him so much
I preferred him with all the things he used as a crutch
But perhaps that is what this is all about
To throw all of what I think I am, into doubt
And make me question my own personal health
And to allow God to change what I can't change about myself
Because God is my own personal trainer
Walking with me always and pulling me from danger
So if this is the path He wants me to take
I know that it will be for my sake
But I still can't do this, I've got nothing left
Yet I know that He will never leave me completely bereft
I know that I am not completely lost
Because He already paid the greatest cost
So I will thank God that I cannot quit
Because if I could I'd have already said; "enough, that's it"
And missed out on the fullness of this lesson
Whatever comes of it I know will be a blessing
I can't do anymore, so I will stand still
And all I have left to learn, I'll let God fulfil
Not that I'm saying this will be easy or pain free
But I'll draw comfort from knowing God is with me
So I will just rest and dream of what I'll become
When all this is over, finished and done
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