Episode 58 – Experience Vs Relationship

Recently I’ve had plenty of time to think, which I must confess I rather enjoy. All manner of things have passed through my mind, one thing which has occurred to me is how similar my time in Papua New Guinea has now become to that of a short term trip with the potential of making it permanent at a later time. In fact on paper, there is no difference between going on a short trip for six months, coming back to England and then later returning permanently, to going out permanently and then returning to England for a period of time after six months, to then go back later. So I started to think about the difference and about how different that would have made my first six months in Papua New Guinea. I can only see one difference between the two circumstances, but what a difference that has made to me. The difference is simply my intent.

The PNG Experience

You see right from the beginning my intention was to be in Papua New Guinea for a long time. Now God is always teaching me to make the most of each day and not to worry about what may happen tomorrow, but at the same time the bible also teaches about using what we have wisely, making the analogy to a man who wants to build a large tower not starting to do so unless he knows that he can finish it. If I had only been planning to stay in Papua New Guinea for six months to begin with, my intention would have been to “make the most” of the limited time I had. I would have thrown myself head first into every opportunity that came may way, desperately trying to experience every “new” thing that this place had to offer. We are often encouraged to live each day like it is our last, and this would have become my philosophy. It may offer some wisdom in encouraging us not to worry about tomorrow and to remember to enjoy what each day brings us, but it is also quite short sighted. Because I knew that I would be in Papua New Guinea for some time, experiencing every “new” thing as soon as I could became less important and other things increased in importance. I would often turn down exciting new experiences for things which at first glance seem far more mundane, usually spending time with friends.

Some of the best people on this earth!

With my “live like each day is your last” attitude, friendships would have been far less important. Sure I would have wanted friends, but pursuing deep relationship would have appeared to be a “waste” of time, knowing that I didn’t have long to develop meaningful relationships, and knowing that it would be hard to maintain them once I had left. But with the intent of staying, relationships became far more important than experiences, and even in just six months my relationships proved to me how much more valuable than experiences they truly are. By putting my friendships first, I am now friends with some of the best people on this earth and have friendships that I know will last forever. On top of that, through those friendships I have experienced things that I never imaged I would and experienced more than I had hoped I would in six years let alone six months. So I hope that I do learn to make the most of each day and not to worry about tomorrow, but I pray too that in the midst of that, that I will never forget that friendships beat experiences every time.