Episode 38 - Half Way Around the World

Nomes here. Joey set me the task of writing this blog from a different perspective: What’s it like having a missionary brother half way around the world?

Now, I could tell you that life is more fun with Joey around and that games nights aren’t the same without him, but you probably already know that.  I could tell you that I miss him like crazy, but the truth is that now I have a smart phone I’m actually in more frequent contact with him in PNG than when he was at All Nations College this time last year.

Weirdly, the one thing that’s really different is this very blog. Joey’s not a writer, so it’s odd reading whole paragraphs by him at all. It’s even odder getting my information about him at the same time as any other person with access to the internet. But if I’m totally honest, the weirdest thing is that sibling rivalry wells up in me.

You see, since Joey left my life has been pretty awful. Less than a week after waving him off at the airport I fell off a cliff and was airlifted to hospital with a fractured skull and dislocated collarbone. Seven months later and I still don’t know if I’ll need an operation. Three months after the accident I was too physically and emotionally weak to return to helping disabled children or those with learning difficulties in mainstream schools, but I was also stone broke, so I got a minimum wage job in a shop.

Now before we go on, I’m not looking for sympathy here. There have also been some truly amazing things in my life. I have a medically trained fiancé who saved my life when I fell, and my job has been excellent physio for my shoulder. But reading blogs about how wonderful it is for Joey to be exactly where God wants him and doing such remarkable things to make the world a better place has often made me selfishly feel like a loser. God called Joey, not me. It seems like God doesn’t really mind what I do. Maybe doesn’t care.

I asked a vicar friend about this and he rather unhelpfully explained that God does call some people, like Joey to be a missionary, and him to be a vicar; and other people like me don’t have such a direct calling. They are to use the wisdom God gives them to make their own choices and so long as they don't sin, he doesn’t mind what they do. He and I aren’t really friends any more.

So I asked my much wiser best friend about it and she sat me down and opened her Bible at the concordance at the back and we trawled for about an hour until we decided that God does not show favouritism and that if he calls some people he must call us all, just to different things. Maybe he will give us a choice and allow us to use our wisdom like my vicar friend said, but that doesn’t mean he is indifferent.

One day, unrelated to the above, Mum mentioned that we’re all part of Joey’s ministry because we support him. Maybe, I thought, that’s my calling. So I looked up Philippians 2 and a dude called Epaphroditus. The Philippian church sent him to Paul to look after him and Paul said of him, “He risked his life to make up for the help you could not give me.” In a way I sent Joey to PNG to make up for the help I can’t give them. Supporting missionaries is a calling in itself.

Then one day my fiancé said to me, “I’m so proud of you for getting up at 5am to do a job that doesn’t fulfil you instead of just giving up.” And it all fell into place.

Paul didn’t say to the Philippians, “Well done, you sent Epaphroditus! Your work is done now and God doesn’t really mind if you work in a shop or with disabled children.” He said, “Look not only to your own interests but to the interests of others… Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose… Shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life.”

In Athens he put it very poetically. “From one man God made every nation to inhabit the whole earth, and he decided the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not very far from each one of us.”

So if like me sometimes you read Joey’s blog and feel lacking, please be encouraged. Yes, God is doing amazing work through Joey. But Joey’s work isn’t more precious to God than yours, whether that’s working in a shop on minimum wage, caring for disabled children, knitting jumpers for Romanian orphans, looking after the grandkids, or like I was for a month or two after my accident, sat at home unable to hold a conversation but just about able to pray with emotions rather than words.

So what is it like having a missionary brother half way around the world? Challenging, but not in the way I expected. But God has used it not only to help the people of PNG know how much he loves them, but also to tell little old me that same thing. God wants me to obey him no matter how menial the calling seems to me.

This Christmas may we all shine like stars as we hold out the word of life in whichever place God chose us to be in.

Episode 37 - Love

As I've been thinking about the love that God has shown to me in so many ways, I thought that this week I would share a poem with you that I wrote sometime ago. Sorry if you've heard it before or if poetry isn't really your thing...

Love

The friendship of a friend shared with his brother

The years of service to a child from her mother

With each different meaning, the Greeks give a new name

Yet the most verbose English always use the same

But what in reality does this word really mean

Are all of these things really all that they seem

We’ve all heard it said that it’s the air that we breathe

And the Beatles said that it’s all that we need

But then they also said that there were eight days in a week

So can we really believe anything they speak?

We seem to be filled with a great romantic notion

With songs and poetry all spun into motion

With warm fuzzy feelings and laughter and cheer

Sadness and sorrow don’t have a place here

But this in fact is only part of the tale

Without a strong wind our ship will not sail

We’re eating the icing without the rest of the cake

And making ourselves sick we say for loves sake

We have become gluttons who eat just to get fat

But true love is much more than just all of that

For love is more than just falling in love

More than just feeling like a hand in a glove

It’s about standing a lasting and building others up

It’s about pouring out your riches to fill anothers cup

It’s a choice made in the knowledge that all won’t be good

But still being willing to fight together against the flood

About helping someone through when life becomes tough

And caring first about them and not all that other stuff

And love on this earth has one shining example

A small taste of which I wish you to sample

The God of the heavens that made all that we know

Wanted on us His love to bestow

Such was His desire for us to know him

He sent his true son to pay for our sin

This son was made man to live on the earth

To give up all that His heavenly riches were worth

To die on a cross for the love of us all

That we might not pay the price of our fall

That we might know what true love is

That He is ours and we are His

Episode 36 - My Year In Photos

So we're coming towards the end of the year and it's that time when we all start looking back on what has happened in the last year. Having just written a piece on my last six months here in PNG, I thought I'd do this one a little different; through pictures! After all a picture does say a thousand words! (and takes seemingly infinitely more bandwidth to upload - it seemed like a good idea at the time...). When I very selectively went through my photos of the last year I very carefully only selected the bare minimum - and still ended up with over 50! So here are the very heavily edited highlights!

Celebrated good times with great friends - and formed queues...

Said Goodbyes and Made Plans for the Future

Finally got My VISA from This place

Found some Amazing Colleagues who Became Amazing Friends

Went on Some Incredible Flights

Met So Many Amazing People

Went into the heart of the Jungle

Learnt to Shop Here

Ate Some Amazing Food

Landed on Some Scary Airstrips (Took Off From Them Again Too...)

Did Some Incredible Work With Some Incredible People

A year Doesn't sound like that long but it's credible just how much God has done in this time, this is just eleven photo's, but a thousand stories, let alone a thousand words could never do justice to all God has done for, and that just in this one year alone. As I continually look forward into the unknown may I never forget to look back to all that I now know you have done with what was once the unknown too.

Episode 35 - The Six Month Review

Six months doesn’t seem like a long time, but although it might not seem like it at first glance, a lot happens in six months. Since I’ve been in Papua New Guinea; Great Britain has voted to leave EU, the PNG government voted to keep their prime minister, just as the Australian people did with theirs in what was a remarkably close election, whilst in a similarly close election America voted for a new President and the UK got a new Prime Minister although the people didn’t vote at all. Time does not just effect the global political world though, it changes the intimate personal world of each one of us too. Now I might feel very much like Joey Redhead, and indeed I am, I am not the Joey Redhead who inhabited the world 6 months ago. The change is subtle sure, but look hard enough and you’ll find it, and I’m certain the same is true of you. I still over use the words “now” and “sure” in my blogs, I still tell bad jokes, I still can’t play volleyball very well and I still like to point out my flaws, but I’m not exactly the same, not deep inside. A lot happens in six months, both good and bad, and each one of those things leaves its mark on who we are. Many of the things that happen to us we cannot control, but we do, at least in part have some say in who we let those things make us become. Trouble is we don’t always realise it’s happening, or at least I don’t. So as I look back at the amazing things I have been blessed enough to have experienced in the last six months, I realise that it’s a great opportunity to see how I’ve changed, and decide what to keep and what to try to revert back.

 

The New Me... Still Easily Confused

Having to manage a team of staff has made me want to look out more for what people need and how I can help them, not just my team but everyone around me. Being around a group of people who have so openly invited me into their lives has made more accepting of people I don’t know yet. Being with people who put so much effort into just spending time together and keep relationships working has made me more aware of what keeps good relationships going, and made me want to put the effort in. Being in a new culture which thinks very differently to my own has made me appreciate other ways of thinking, accept that in many ways of life there are many ways to do things without any being better than others, and even challenged some of the viewpoints I have inherited without thinking. Seeing the open love that dwells in the hearts of so many people has stirred up the love in my own heart and challenged me to find ways to let it out for people to see. Training other people has shown me that just because I can do something well doesn’t mean that I should necessarily be the one to do it even if I want to. Missing out on exciting plans because of circumstances has taught me to hold my plans lightly and to trust and follow God in all the things I do. I could go on, (and there are some changes I need to reset) but most of all, all that I have experienced and all the people I have met have made be appreciate all that God does for me every day so much more.

Episode 34: Badly Drawn Boy

I am a geek. There are many ways in which I am a geek, but today I would like to focus my attention on one particular reason; I love flags. I don’t really know why, I just always have. I have shared with many people the story behind Papua New Guinea's flag, a story which I love, but there are many more flags in Papua New Guinea. There are 21 provinces in Papua New Guinea and each province has its own flag. I live in Goroka in the East Highlands Province and I have often looked at our flag. It has a green and red background and in the foreground it has a large yellow six pointed star surrounded by eight smaller ones. The number of points represents the districts and the number of smaller stars represent the local government councils. But one thing has always puzzled me when I’ve looked at the flag. In the centre of the star in the centre of the every East Highlands Province flag that I have ever seen is the same funny looking man.

The East Highland Province Flag

Or at least that’s what I had always thought he was. Now what was funny about him was that he was always missing one arm and one leg, like the artist only got half way through and ran out of time. But I recently found out that this was no accident, for this was no man, this was Nokondi. Nokondi is to all intents and purposes a man, but everything that a normal man would have two of; legs, arms, eyes, ears, and so on, Nokondi only has one. Every village in the East Highlands would speak of the Nokondi who lived nearby, most likely in a cave. He is a trouble-maker or at least a mischief maker and if something happened with no immediately obvious culprit, he would often get the blame. In just two generations before now he would have been thought of as being very real, but now he is considered by most to be a myth who is part of ancient tradition. Even so, you will no doubt be able to hear his name being spoken if you spend enough time in the village. No one would ever dare go into his cave and he was respected (maybe feared), but thought too, as a good presence for all the trouble that he caused, as though in some way he protected the village. As I listened to this explanation I couldn’t help wondering how I might behave differently if I knew I had someone looking after me, and how I might treat that person. Then I remembered that I do.

Episode 33 - Games Night

As you may well know, I love to play games. It doesn’t matter what the game, or even if I win or lose, I just love playing games. As you may also know, I’m not the sort to put on an event or host a party. Now that’s not to say that I don’t bring the party with me, even if I am the quiet and reserved type – but that’s just it, I bring it with me rather than invite people to it. To do it any other way would involve way too much effort, and forward planning and being organised, and well, having a tidy house. Furthermore, apart from being ill-equipped for such an endeavour, I had never seen the reason or felt the desire to become a host. Previously there had always been plenty of people who were far better at it and enjoyed hosting far more than me to organise such things, and there had always been plenty of alternatives for ways in which to spend time with groups of your friends.

Games Night + Giant Whiteboard = Pictionary!

Now here in PNG my friends and I spend lots of time together. Apart from the eight hours a day we spend together at work (which is a great way to come close to each other and learn to trust one another) there are plenty of opportunities in the evenings to attend prayer meeting and bible studies, (which is such an honour to grow together in that way), but getting together just for the sake of coming together and having fun does not come about so easily, especially when during the evening there is much available for us to do outside of the corrugated iron confines of our compounds. Now please don’t get me wrong. We do spend a lot of time together just enjoying each other’s company, an incredible amount of time actually. I’ve never lived my life with a group of people who put so much effort in ensuring that we all spend time together just for the sake of being together, because we want to be.

Turns out the boy can cook!

Work is always there and all the other meetings that fill our time are essential to our purpose of being here, so we know that we must make them happen, but it would be easy to neglect our time together as being too hard and as being merely an indulgence as opposed to a necessity. But no-one here does. My friends are committed to being friends and staying close and enjoying each other’s company even though it would be easier not too. It’s very special to be loved in that way, and it’s contagious. And so on Saturday night I held my first ever games night. I didn’t even care about the effort. In fact I enjoyed it, it somehow made it more special. I even made food (mainly just to prove to my friends that I could…). We managed to fit twelve people into my little house and we all had a great time. But this blog isn’t about the games night. It’s about the people who made me want to host it. I have incredible and inspiring friends here, and I am so well blessed to have them in my life and to be able to call them that.

Episode 32: The Art of Relationship

Right from the very beginning of being here, it has been very clear to me that the sense of community and friendship here in Papua New Guinea is very different to that back in England. I have often watched in awe as two Papua New Guineans relate to each other in ways that two Brits never would, or as someone cares for someone else in a way that would never naturally occur to me. It can be very heart-warming to watch, but when it happens to me, it can be as confusing as it is touching – which it is greatly on both counts, even when it’s just little things. This week two Papua New Guinean friends of mine who don’t know each other and both of whom I hadn’t seen me for a while, sent me a text message completely independently of each other. The resultant text conversation was almost exactly the same. It began by them saying “gutnait lo yu brata” (literally translates to; “goodnight to you brother”). So I replied goodnight in return and asked how they were. They told me that they were fine and asked me how I was, and so I replied that I was well. Now to my British brain, this was the polite conversation that served as the platform on which to present the purpose of the conversation, after all, I do come from a country where “how are you?” is a greeting not a question, and where no-one says what they actually mean.

One of my Bratas and I

And so I waited with baited breath to see what would come next, but to my surprise, nothing came. After this happened with the first friend I was a little worried that I might have said something to upset him or forgotten something that I was supposed to do, but after the second conversation I started to realise there was something more to what was happening. So the next day I asked my friend in work; “what’s going on? Did I do something wrong?” He gently laughed and reassured me that all was well and that this was quite a normal interaction. I needed a little more convincing, so he explained to me that it was; “tok halo tasol”; just saying hello. To my mind, at first, this seemed crazy! To say hello, just to say hello! It seemed to have no reason, to have no purpose. But it seems that many Papua New Guineans naturally understand about relationships things that I don’t seem to easily get. You see saying hello was the purpose. In my culture it is very easy to be task driven to always be busy doing things, trying to get something done. But here it seems that it should be obvious that people are what really matter, and furthermore there seems to be a much greater understanding of how to relate to each other well than I have ever experienced before. It was just simply understood by my friends that just saying hello is a key part to maintaining a good friendship. It didn’t matter what was said, what mattered was that I knew that they were thinking of me, and in turn, that I was thinking of them. That is how a friendship is kept from dying and it’s a beautiful thing to have someone do that for you.