Episode 141 - Collapsing Vacuum

The Machines I look after at work use (super) high frequency radio waves to accelerate subatomic particles (electrons) along a wave guide. Now that all sounds pretty fancy, but to put it another way; they fire tiny things down big empty tubes. The key word here is empty. Because when you get down to looking at really small stuff, nothing is ever empty, just less full. The tubes in the machines I look after need to be as not full as possible. The electrons going down the tube might hit anything left in it. Not only would that mean that they wouldn’t get to the end, but even worse; the collision would also make more stuff for the electrons behind it to crash into too. This week at work I had to replace the part that creates the electrons and therefore had to open the tube, meaning that it was no longer empty because all the air from outside could get in (we actually filled it with nitrogen rather than letting air get inside for boring reasons that you don’t want me to explain). After I had finished, before we could use the machine again I needed to empty the tube by attaching a pump to suck everything out. 

After pumping it for a few hours the sensors showed that the tube was very empty and all looked good. If you didn’t know what was going on you would think you would be able to use the machine again, but that would be a very bad idea. It would work for a very short time before the tube filled up again and if the machine was stopped quickly, it would be full again and something would probably be broken in the process. This is because the pump had only got rid of the stuff that was loose in the tube. As the machine was switched on the stuff that had gotten stuck to or even embedded in the side of the tube begins to work loose. Then the electrons hit that stuff and make even more stuff. To avoid this you need to start very slowly. First sending down just a few radio waves. Then a bit more and a bit more. Then eventually adding some electrons. And then some more and some more. All the while taking lots of breaks making sure not to push it too far. Through this process, eventually the tube becomes empty enough for the machine to work properly.

I think sometimes I’m a bit like that tube. Everything is normal and fine. I’m able to do what I feel I want to be and should be doing. But then something happens and life becomes messy. It’s not always a bad thing in itself, just something big which upsets the rhythm of my life. And then my life becomes full of things that seem to get in the way of me doing what I should be doing or being who I want to be. Things fill up my time and occupy my thoughts which get in the way of me being who I want to be and the more I carry on trying the more stuff there seems to be to get in the way. Eventually I realise that something is wrong and I need to fix it and so I take a break. I rest and let it clear away. But I think maybe I’m too quick to want to believe that that’s all that’s needed and want to dive back in without look at things that have become hidden buried in the sides of the walls just waiting to come out as soon as I start again. And when I do return to normality everything seems fine at first, but then I am quickly left wondering where all the stuff that consumes me has come back from. I pray God gives me the patience and wisdom to take clearing out the things that get in the way both more seriously and more methodically.