Episode 74 - Trusting God in the Unknown

In an outrageous act of recycling, this week I thought I'd share an article I wrote for the MAF monthly prayer devotion about my current situation (to read the original or to sign up to receive these devotions each month by e-mail, click here), so here it is...

There was once a guy called Paul. You’ve probably heard of him. He brought Christianity to Europe and wrote much of the New Testament. But, sometime before all that, he felt called by God to tell the Good News about Jesus Christ to what is now modern-day Turkey. Turkey and the surrounding area was the socio-economic hub of the world at that time, so making an influence there would be a way of influencing the world. It was a big job and one that Paul was no doubt excited about. However, only a short way into his journey, he found that he was unable to share God’s Word there.

In some ways, I can relate. At the beginning of 2015, I felt God call me to go to Papua New Guinea (PNG) to serve the people there with my engineering skills. It wasn’t that I thought this would be a good thing to do, or that it was something of which God would approve. No, God made it irrevocably clear that this was what He wanted me to do. It happened with a clarity I couldn’t doubt and a certainty that I knew I’d need to hold on to in the future — although I didn’t know why at the time.

Getting stuck in

In the summer of 2016, I moved to PNG and began to work with MAF there. I very much enjoyed myself, settled in well, and like to think that I made an impact for God’s glory there too. But after six months, I became ill and had to come back to England to be treated. Much about my illness still remains a mystery. The prognosis for my recovery in the future is good, but when this will occur is totally unclear. I am very much in a time of uncertainty.

It is easy to question whether I misunderstood what God was telling me when I felt called, but I know this is not the case. It’s easy to feel that I failed in some way, that I wasn’t strong enough, but I know this was always God’s work and it was only because of His strength that I’d be able to achieve this task – a strength that I know never fails. It’s easy to feel lost because, well, I am. But that’s okay, because I’m travelling with God and He doesn’t just have the map, He made it!

The Bible doesn’t tell us how Paul felt when he was unable to carry out his plans. It’s also unclear as to why Paul wasn’t able to share the Good News about Jesus. It does however tell us that God was the author of this interruption. It also tells us what Paul did next. He carried on! He tried to preach throughout the whole region and, when he wasn’t able to, he moved on to the next. He carried on and on until he found himself at the very tip of Turkey. From there, God led him to bring the Gospel to Europe, which would remain the social and economic hub of the world for the next 2,000 years. It was something Paul could never have known at the time, but was something God had planned all along.

Episode 73 - Words of Enocuragement

I'm feeling pretty wiped out this week, so I'm just gonna leave you with two passages of encouragement that come to mind, hopefully they'll bless you just as they bless me...

...so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

- 2 Corintians 12: 7-10

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

- Matthew 11: 28-30

Episode 72 - Singing Songs to Heaven

As I have shared some of my own poetry with you in the past, this week I thought I'd share some Papua New Guinean words. I was looking through my Tok Pisin song book from a rural church and thought it would be nice to translate a few songs for you, so here goes (please forgive my poor translation)...

Oh God you are a watchman

Oh God you are a watchman

You are always watching over my life

Everywhere I go

Everywhere I stay

You are always watching over my life

When I get on a plane

Or I travel by boat

When I travel by bus

You are always watching over my life

On the mountain top

On the mountain top

Go down into the valley

Cross the seas and keep on going

Come and sing

Come and be happy

We hold hands and shout to Jesus

He will make you jump up and dance

He will make you cry with joy

Around the river of God

He will change your life

By the waters edge, the water has life

Angels with us holding hands

Doesn’t matter if you’re from the coast, Doesn’t matter if you’re from the Highlands

We hold hands and shout to Jesus

I’m a no good man, but Jesus received me 

I’m a no good woman, but Jesus received me 

I’m like a confused child

But Jesus received me 

Holy Spirit you are like fire

Holy Spirit you are like water

Holy Spirit you are like a wind from heaven coming down

You make me jump, jump

Yu make me dance, dance

You’re making me and my mind receive heaven

The word of God is very sweet

The word of God is very sweet 

It is like a peanut

It  pierces man’s heart 

The word of God is very sweet

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

The word of God is very sweet

In Papua New Guinean culture the seat of emotions is considered to be the stomach (in contrast to the heart in western culture) In the last song, the word that I have translated heart actually means stomach and so the comparison of the bible being like a peanut actually has great depth and is a very clever analogy and refers to the way in which it satisfies our very being not just our hunger. I love reading the words to Papua New Guinean worship songs and the way that the explore and celebrate God and His creation, I hope you've found it enjoyable too!

Episode 71 - Done

I'm done
I can't do this anymore, I'm done
Whatever it is that's fighting me
I'm ready to say it's finished, you've won

My mind cannot think, it can't add two plus two

It can no longer tell what's false and what's true

My body keeps finding new ways to rebel

What it will be today, there is no way to tell

My spirit inside isn't willing to give in

but it no longer believes there's any way it can win

I'm not looking for sympathy and I don't mean to pout

I'm just desperately looking to find the way out

It's not that I no longer want to follow this plan

It's just that I really no longer think that I can

I'm exhausted and empty, I'm used up and I'm spent

I'm battered and broken, I'm bashed up and I'm bent

I feel like a song and the tune is still me

but the words don't fit the rhythm and I'm singing out of key

I've never been perfect, of that I am sure

But I've never been in this kind of place before

For all of my failings up to now

I've always had enough understanding to know how

To improve myself

Enthuse myself

And loose Myself

of the wrong and the old

Go to the Gym

Or put on a grin

Lift up my chin

And let the new unfold

But this isn't a problem with a solution I can bring

Nor a fight I can win and I'm flat on the floor of the ring

I have no way to start a new revolution

To bring this back to order and find a resolution

This can't be fixed with a new health regime

with working harder, or another release of dopamine

Because it's not about me, or my characters attire

I just happen to be here and got caught in the crossfire

Of happenstance and cosmic circumstance

Just bad luck and a matter of chance

There's no-one to blame, not even cause and effect

Just one of those things you couldn't expect

I'm not a special case deserving special attention

It's not like this is some new invention

Bad luck and circumstance happen all the time

And many are those who are victims of their crime

I am by no means surprised that such things can be

And I have no objection that it should happen to me

But the problem remains, though as deserving as any

I can't take any more, I need it to stop already

I'm waving the white flag, hoping the whistle will blow

I'm hoping that now some mercy it'll show

I've become a person that I know I am not

The person I know I am, seems completely forgot

Perhaps this is the real me inside

having striped away the things that I use to hide

But to tell the truth I don't like him so much

I preferred him with all the things he used as a crutch

But perhaps that is what this is all about

To throw all of what I think I am, into doubt

And make me question my own personal health

And to allow God to change what I can't change about myself

Because God is my own personal trainer

Walking with me always and pulling me from danger

So if this is the path He wants me to take

I know that it will be for my sake

But I still can't do this, I've got nothing left

Yet I know that He will never leave me completely bereft

I know that I am not completely lost

Because He already paid the greatest cost

So I will thank God that I cannot quit

Because if I could I'd have already said; "enough, that's it"

And missed out on the fullness of this lesson

Whatever comes of it I know will be a blessing

I can't do anymore, so I will stand still

And all I have left to learn, I'll let God fulfil

Not that I'm saying this will be easy or pain free

But I'll draw comfort from knowing God is with me

So I will just rest and dream of what I'll become

When all this is over, finished and done

Episode 70 - Words of Wisdom

This week I was talking with friends about how odd English sayings and expressions are (after using the expression "someone walked over my grave" to their complete confusion) and this started me thinking about some of the expressions I had heard during my time in Papua New Guinea and so I thought that would share some of them with you this week...

Work won't run away

Knowledge is only a rumour until it's in the muscle

Plant a Banana (meaning going to the toilet)

Number eleven (meaning a runny nose)

A saying from the Cassowary to her chicks:  Whatever falls from above is always the fruit of the tree, take and eat, but avoid anything from the ground moving towards you, because it will bring you harm.

Time can not wait. It goes and goes completely.

Six pocket (Cargo shorts)

I must have heard hundreds of expressions, but that seems to be all I can remember right now. Please tell me any you might know and I'll update the list!

Episode 69 - Driven By Purpose

Nobody sets out on a journey without a reason (even if the journey itself is the reason). In fact no-one does anything with something motivating them to do so. Purpose is a fundamental part of all of our lives and it drives everything that we do. At the moment I’m not really able to do all that much and as such my sense of purpose has diminished. It’s not that I feel I have no purpose, for in all things, wherever I am in life, I always feel that my purpose is to do whatever I am doing for God’s glory as Paul urges us to in the book of Colossians. The trouble is that when I feel unable to do anything, I feel unable to fulfil any purpose and so in a way feel purposeless. I feel like a raft bobbing up and in the middle of a wide ocean with no direction and no way to move myself forward.

How the Horizon Sometimes Feels...

This is not the first time in my life that I have felt like this. In this instance this feeling comes from not being able to do much, but the feeling of purposelessness can have many sources. It can come from feeling that you are making no progress in what you have set out to achieve, or even by achieving it. It can come from a change in circumstance or from there being no change at all for far too long. It can come from defeat and it can come from success. Whatever the reasons I have felt this way in the past, I can see that God has always lead my out of it and used this time to reenergise and redirect me. So I may be a powerless raft stranded at sea, but God is the power that moves the oceans currents, and I will draw strength by remembering His constant faithfulness all throughout my life.

One of the benefits of feeling purposeless because I’m not able to do very much, is that it gives me plenty of time to think about it. To think about what gives us purpose, and what our purpose is. We are all of course unique and as such, we all have a unique purpose, one that no-one else has, and one that changes throughout our lives too. But whilst we each have our own specific purpose, we also all have a universal purpose that never changes, the very reason that we as individuals and mankind as a species was put on this earth. Simply to know God. Now it should not be surprising that this is something that is easily overlooked in a culture that puts great worth on achievement above all else. But God didn’t make us simply to achieve something. If God was looking for results, He would just have done it Himself. He’d do it all a lot better than any of us could and have it completed with effortless speed too. He doesn’t just want us to do, but to be. With Him. To know Him and to spend time with Him. I have to confess that whilst I have always known this, this is something that I all too often and all too easily forget. And so, I will rejoice in this time of lost purpose, and use it to once again find my original purpose; to be with God.

Episode 68 - Words of Hope

I'm afraid I don't have much to say this week, so I thought that I would share with you the words of one of my favourite pieces of scripture that seems to keep coming up recently - Isaiah 35

Wilderness and desert will sing joyously,
the badlands will celebrate and flower—
Like the crocus in spring, bursting into blossom,
a symphony of song and color.
Mountain glories of Lebanon—a gift.
Awesome Carmel, stunning Sharon—gifts.
God’s resplendent glory, fully on display.
God awesome, God majestic.

 Energize the limp hands,
strengthen the rubbery knees.
Tell fearful souls,
“Courage! Take heart!
God is here, right here,
on his way to put things right
And redress all wrongs.
He’s on his way! He’ll save you!”

Blind eyes will be opened,
deaf ears unstopped,
Lame men and women will leap like deer,
the voiceless break into song.
Springs of water will burst out in the wilderness,
streams flow in the desert.
Hot sands will become a cool oasis,
thirsty ground a splashing fountain.
Even lowly jackals will have water to drink,
and barren grasslands flourish richly.

There will be a highway
called the Holy Road.
No one rude or rebellious
is permitted on this road.
It’s for God’s people exclusively—
impossible to get lost on this road.
Not even fools can get lost on it.
No lions on this road,
no dangerous wild animals—
Nothing and no one dangerous or threatening.
Only the redeemed will walk on it.
The people God has ransomed
will come back on this road.
They’ll sing as they make their way home to Zion,
unfading halos of joy encircling their heads,
Welcomed home with gifts of joy and gladness
as all sorrows and sighs scurry into the night.