There’s an old story of a woman who had grown to detest her husband. She goes to her lawyer and tells him that she wants to divorce her husband. Not only that but she really wanted to hurt him and take him for everything that he had. The lawyer thought about this and replied that if she really wanted to hurt him what she should do is to spend the next month being the perfect wife, doting on her husband and acting like she really loved him with all of her heart. The woman looked confused so the lawyer explained, this way your husband will become dependent upon you and see you as the most wonderful thing in his life and then when you divorce him you will take away everything he could ever want in life and hurt him more than anything else could. The woman began to smile realising how clever the lawyers plan was and agreed to do just as he suggested. A month passed by, the lawyer had the divorce papers ready, but he didn’t hear from the woman. Another month passed and still nothing. After the third month the lawyer decided to call the woman and ask if everything was okay. She said that life had never been better. When He asked if she still wanted to go through with the divorce the woman replied, “oh no! when I acted like I loved my husband, I realised that I really did love him after all”.
It's perhaps a silly and twee story, but it makes a clear point. Love is a curious thing (I mean all types of love, not just romantic love). We know that it’s a feeling, in fact this is what is most clearly expressed by our culture; warm fuzzy feelings and butterflies in the stomach. But we also know that it’s an action; we show love by the things we do. Lastly it’s also a choice we make; we chose to love. Or do we? I think we’ve all probably felt love for someone without choosing to feel that way. Then we have to choose what we do about it, we can act upon it or not. But conversely, we can feel no love for someone and still choose whether or not we act in love. As a Christian I believe that I am only able to love God because He first loved me. He revealed Himself to me and showed me who He was. Recently I’ve been reading the book of Deuteronomy and Chapter 30 showed be something even deeper about this. It says that I’m not able to choose to love God, but it makes an offer, with a promise. It says that if I choose to act like I love God with all I am, then He will make it so that I am able to love with all that I am. Love is a choice. But the choice is how we act not how we feel. Our feelings follow our actions, if we live the other way around then we forfeit our choice.
Well spoken. If you rely on love just being a feeling, you won’t last long.
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